To be blunt: I SUCK AT TAKING PICTURES! In every way someone can fail at taking pictures, I do. If I even remember to take them; they’re not good. Someone can be standing right next to me, photographing the same thing and theirs will look like it was taken with an IPhone from the future, then was professionally edited and has a filter. Mine? Mine looks like a child took it with a flip phone circa 2005.
You see the “Pinterest fails” all the time and they’re hilarious! That’s not me though. I make Pinterest my bitch! If Joan Jett, Martha Stewart and Twiggy had a baby, that baby would be me (please don’t get hung up on the technicalities of this. Imagine it’s possible)! I know my way around a kitchen, I practically have a degree in making things look pretty and have my own power tools to refinish furniture (#legit). I’m not modest, so I’m comfortable declaring that I am a creative perfectionist. Unfortunately, most of the world will never know about my talents. When I try to take a picture of my accomplishments, there is no filter that will reverse how butchered they have been in my attempts to capture them. It is a shame.
I have friends/people I follow that make their stuff look amazing! I am starting to catch on that much of it is staged. Cinnamon doesn’t just naturally fall onto the counter in a paisley shape, unclumsily sprinkled with goji berries and chia seeds. I’m on to you beautiful Instagramers! Even though I see your tricks, it still makes me feel inadequate because I’m not capable of fake. Even if I was, it would still look shitty in the picture I took of it.
Then there are the kid pictures! I love the kid pictures! Seeing your kids is the only reason I go on social media. But, I can’t help but wonder: are those pictures fake too? Are their cute little faces superimposed onto mannequin bodies to make them look like their standing still, or do other people’s kids actually stand still for pictures? Mine don’t. Even the best photographers can’t get a good picture while there chasing a moving target…and I mean CHASING! Any picture of my kids is blurry, unless they’re sleeping. And getting two of them in a picture together (I have 3 kids BTW, but don’t even attempt to sync up all 3 at once)? Forget about it. They’re running, I’m running, my purse is laying in the middle of the road and they are throwing their shoes at me. I give up!
Thank goodness for professional photos (otherwise I can’t imagine what our Christmas cards would look like).
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