I haven’t been staying up-to-date on my blogging lately. The truth is: every moment of “screen time” I have had, has been spent on Web MD. I never have “normal” health problems. They’re usually a bit of a mystery to everyone, including doctors. Sounds exotic, right?
Don’t worry! I’m probably not dying (Probably), but the internet sure has me thinking I am! Doctors should have an entirely new form for you to fill out. This form will ask you what kind of research you have done on your condition, and what you determined from it (then, these should be collected and made into a hilarious book). It will save you from having to tell the doctor “I saw on the internet…” (and spare them the eye-roll after hearing that for the millionth time).
Even though we are in a time of instant information and instant gratification, blood work still takes a week! Waiting for test results leaves me so much time to google my symptoms. Don’t do that. Ever. It’s like when I’m driving and using navigation, I occasionally deviate from its commands to see if “my way” gets me there quicker (not that I’m competitive). Unfortunately, there is no shortcut to getting a diagnosis. Not even Google.
My grandma was always sick. She too liked to play doctor. This was pre-internet, and instead of Web MD, she had a giant book (with great pictures) called a PDR, or Physician’s Desk Reference (sounds legit, right?). It was filled with descriptions of every disease, rash, medicine…hours of entertainment for curious children and sickly grandmas alike.
When my oldest daughter was born, the internet was still relatively new, slow and very limited. Google wasn’t even a thing yet! My pregnancy resources were: the book What to Expect When You’re Expecting, baby magazines, wise people like my grandma (and her PDR) and my actual doctor. I was uninformed and naive. It was wonderful! The only thing I worried about was that she might not be a girl like they predicted, and I’d have to take back all the dresses that were waiting for her (and the humiliation that goes along with having a boy who’s boy parts were mistaken for girl parts for five months). If I had questions or concerns, I picked up the phone and called my doctor (weird)!
I’ve had two more daughters since the Google revolution. This time I ditched the book and magazines and turned to the internet. It added so much stress and left me with more questions than answers, but I couldn’t help myself! I managed to have two more healthy daughters despite the internet suggesting that none of us would survive. You would think I have learned my lesson by now. Nope. Still Googling. Still worrying. Isn’t it odd that more information just leaves us with more questions?! It is a strange and vicious cycle, especially when you’re concerned about your health.
Luckily for every disease the internet can help you “self-diagnose,” it also has about 10 cures to guide you to (so I’ve got that going for me). If I go silent for an extended period of time, you can probably find me in the forest foraging roots, plants and fungi to create a life-saving tincture that I read about on the internet.
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