Dear HGTV,
First, THANK YOU! Not only for entertaining your widespread audience (that includes, I don’t know, EVERY DEMOGRAPHIC) but for making America think they have what it takes to “take on a fixer-upper.”
Because of you, I scour real estate sites (hourly) looking for THE diamond in the rough. Should be easy. All I want is a unique home (mid-century modern please), with a nice fenced yard, privacy, in a good neighborhood with an en-suite and most importantly AN OPEN FLOOR PLAN! Have you ever heard someone say they didn’t want an open floor plan? Remember, it has to be good for entertaining (#dinnerparty)!
Watching HGTV has taught me that if I can’t find all my must-haves in a real-life house (that actually exists), I can find a dump, and turn it into my dream house. All I need to do is take down some walls (as long as they’re not load-bearing, duh), tear up the carpet revealing the original hardwoods that only need a little TLC, paint the cabinets, add new hardware and new light fixtures and voila (#dreamhouse)!
I know, I know, it’s not that simple. I am bound to run into a couple hiccups along the way. Inevitable complications like asbestos, mold, electrical or plumbing may mean sacrificing the expansion of the master bathroom, adding a pergola in the backyard, or putting the kibosh on husband’s man cave. Safety first!
Years ago my parents bought a fixer-upper (I don’t know if they actually used the term “fixer-upper” in 1999). The project got bigger, and bigger, and eventually took on a life of its own. The problems along the way were huge and expensive. It took years. They didn’t have Chip and Joanna by their side. You see, HGTV, you were still in your awkward phase. You were still trying to find your identity (and an audience). For the most part, your programs were, well, boring. My parents didn’t have the shows that we have today. They had Bob Vila. Their only resources were their contractor and the helpful folks at Home Depot (who they were on a first-name-basis with). There wasn’t a relatable, TV version of themselves going through something similar to give them comfort, hope, and inspiration.
Anyone who had the courage to remodel a house pre-HGTV “glory days” was a pioneer. A true hero. A visionary (or a crazy masochist who just loved spending money). It’s different now; thanks to you. Now there is probably an app that will do it all for you (please tell me that is a real thing).
When I embark on my home buying and remodling adventure I will be armed with the courage, knowledge, and comps that you have provided me with (let’s not forget to give Pinterest some cred).
It may sound like I’m mocking you. Au contraire! The cojones I have (and the expertise) for taking on an ambitious project could not have come from anywhere other than HGTV. Because of you, I will have my dream home, and for this, I love you (until I’m actually in the midst of a remodel, then there will be so many obscenities raining down on you that you may want to keep an umbrella handy). If it weren’t for you, homebuyers would be settling for cookie cutter homes, lacking in character and soul. As a result of the inspiration you provide, the bulldozers spare countless homes, with life left in them, so a new generation can put roots there. That is why I love you! Keep up the good work HGTV!
realtorswife.com 